The world feels heavy. It has done so for a while now. I’m not great with news, I hate politics and sometimes when both are combined, and hatred spills onto the streets, it feels hard to function. I’ve noticed that I’ve felt more connected to my family’s Persian history because of it; more accepting of my Jewish roots I used to raise my eyebrows at and have (through sometimes no decision of my own) had to adjust friendships to surround myself with only kind people.

At risk of sounding like the randomer in Mean Girls, who wants to live in a world of smiles and eat lots of cake, I would like to live a world of smiles and eat lots of cake. I’ve always been a big listener, preferring to hear other people’s stories and opinions and be open to learning, but again, I am naive in thinking and hoping that each human functions in the same way. 

The last year 

The last year has been again, one of change, combining incredible highs with that of lows and loss. I’ve had amazing holidays, had good work successes and spent quality time with family. I turned 32 years old, didn’t experience a hangover the following morning and recovered well from some surgical procedures. I reconnected with old friends and strengthened new friendships. I haven’t had a deep urge to get into a new relationship, and am happy just doing my thing; not relying on others to make me feel beautiful or wanted. I’ve also recently started Pilates (YouTube sessions of course) and have loved seeing how I’m improving. Small wins and all that.

On the other hand, I’ve also experienced some hard times. I worry about my parents, and have had disturbing and vivid dreams that have affected me quite badly; dreams where I’m helping my Dad to walk which is something that I don’t believe has happened in over twenty years. In case you’re new to this blog, my Dad was diagnosed with MS when I was young. These dreams are bittersweet, because I wake up confused and the realisation that they’re not reality starts to dawn on me. Sometimes the brain is cruel.

Loss has been a bit of a constant this year. I’ve had to roll with difficult feelings that can sometimes feel that my heart is physically breaking. I’ve had to accept when I’m no longer wanted in other people’s lives; when I am ignored and tossed aside, whether that’s in friendships or other relationships of some sort. It’s an incredibly painful feeling to bear, but I’ve dealt with it for a while now, and I continue to do so. You see, the thing is, I can write and chat to people freely, but it takes me a very long time to become truly vulnerable and open up. Really open up. I’ve had to accept that some of those I’ve shared deep moments with have no problem in cutting me off and that’s simply that. Whatever your relationship is to them, whether you’ve known them for years or weeks, that’s really fricking hard. I’m still dealing with that pain, but I guess it taught me I can be vulnerable and I don’t always need to pretend like everything is okay in the moment. Ultimately, the people that care about you stay in your life in some capacity, the people that don’t care, don’t.

So, with that brief life update, I wanted to share some new ways I’ve helped myself. There are always ups and downs, but I feel like I’d be bored if everything remained the same.

5 Ways to Keep Your Mental Health Stable in a Heavy World

Mini weekend travel trips

I’ve always enjoyed going away for the weekend because sometimes I need a break from London. I’m lucky to work hybrid, but the long commute to work and back can be quite tiring. I’m a sucker for a good deal, and usually find great options on Kiwi.com or Google Flights, while Agoda and Trivago (and Google also) sometimes offer amazing hotel rates. I recently went away with my mum to Venice with Ryan Air, found a hotel just outside the centre and it was incredibly reasonable. You don’t always have to go abroad, Wowcher has great hotel package deals for U.K. trips, or sometimes just jumping on a train and exploring in a random UK city for the day can be all you need for a mental reset.

Starting new hobbies 

Seeing as I now can’t afford the gym, I actually asked Chat GPT to write me a workout schedule including YouTube videos. It introduced me to some really cool workouts (and some shocking ones I’ll never view again). Like I said in my intro, I’ve just started with Pilates and although I’ve not done so many videos yet, the ones I’ve completed have been so fun. I’ve also just started Couch to 5K and getting up and moving my body on my lunch break is the best. Another hobby I’ve discovered a new love for is clearing out my wardrobe for pennies, and have earnt the grand total of £7 using Vinted. That’s like one coffee in London – every little helps!

Reducing alcohol intake – Coke Zero over Alcohol

For special occasions I’ll have fun nights out drinking; with good company I’ll have a few glasses of wine, but for the most part, I prefer a Coke Zero. I think because of this, my anxiety is better and depressive episodes aren’t as dire. There was a point in my life where I was able to drink a lot, be up until 5am and still manage to be ready at my desk for 9am. There were also other points I drank too much for the wrong reasons. Now, because I’m in a better mental health space, I can’t drink excessively on my medication and tbh, I’m too old to hack the hangover, I choose if and when I drink. I can happily have sober nights out, or just have a few and go home for an early night – unless it’s a friend coming to experience the nightlife of London, and then I’ll make an exception for some tasty salted caramel espresso martinis mmm.

Reading a good book

I recently went into a charity shop and realised that instead of spending money at Waterstones, I could buy 10 books there for the price of 1. Duhhhh. How could I possibly forget this? Anyway, when I’m travelling to work and I’m tired and grouchy, or I’m returning home from work and I’m tired and grouchy, I can sometimes feel even worse putting my headphones in my ears and zoning out. Even if I’m not in the mood – and sometimes I’ve really had to push myself to do this – I’ll read a book and I’ll feel better. Perhaps it’s because it’s a more present-minded activity or my brain is enjoying doing something that isn’t scrolling on social media. I’ve even noticed that it takes me a while to even focus on a book – I end up reading sentences a gazillion times without taking them in. The more I read, the better my focus is – a big thank you to my iphone and S. Jobs for ruining my brain a little.

Sharing how I feel with good friends

Sometimes when I feel sad or anxious, but I don’t have the mental energy to call someone, I’ll send a voice note. In fact, let’s be honest here, I’m a sucker for a long voice note and sometimes a girl’s gotta vent. I’m incredibly grateful to some friends of mine (and my Mum and Dad) for having the patience to listen to me cry on the phone. Sometimes you’ve just got to have someone who loves you say ‘this sucks but you’ll be okay’. AmIRight.

What things do you do to keep your mental health stable?