It’s been a few months since I last wrote, but I figured this was the best time. First of all, hello from Guatemala. Yes Guatemala. I’ve been to a few countries since my last post, including Nicaragua and El Salvador.

It’s gone fast, but it’s been great and I am glad I’ve done this trip solo. I said to myself this would be my last trip before I considered settling down. It’s a good time to do it; I’m single, I have no responsibilities, I moved back home, I saved money. It’s also taught me that I don’t think I want to a big trip alone like this again, which actually I’m happy for. I wanted this trip to be my last, and if I was still in some previous escapism mode, I’d still want to be away, always travelling and never settling. So it’s taught me what I want and what I need for my future. It’s also shown me that I love travelling with my best friend, who is a similar personality to me, and many times I’ve wished for us to be experiencing these experiences together.

Lately, now that I’m four countries down, I’ve realised that sometimes I need to come back to my centre. When I’m in one place for too long, I start to have bad anxiety for no reason. I start to think too much about people that I’ll probably not see again. I start seeing myself through a lens that I assume others will when it’s not the case. I let my mind go off down different tangents and start to lose myself in a flurry of brain rot when I need to bring it back to the fact I’m in fricking GUATEMALA and why the hell am I letting these thoughts get the better of me. 

So that’s what I’m doing here. I’m writing out why I’m travelling, to remind myself, and to take the power and focus out of these wandering thoughts.

What is your why?

I’m travelling to see how the world works; not to overthink people’s own problems.

I’m travelling to see different landscapes and go hiking; not to feel jealous in situations that I have no reason to be jealous in.

I’m travelling because I can; I have my health and I love seeing how people live; not to make friends. If I do? It’s a bonus.

I’m travelling to hike, to walk, to see city life and village life; not to get bogged down by other people’s issues and let it affect me.

I’m travelling to learn about myself, and everytime I feel anxious or low or I want to cry? That’s okay because I’m human and most of the time it’s never about the person it involves but about what feelings it triggers.

I didn’t come all this way and spend all this money, to let old wounds surface. It’s okay if they do, but I really have to bring myself to centre and realise the WHY I’m here, and for sure the main reason isn’t for people. I’ve got many years to meet those I will love platonically and romantically. This right now, is only for living and being. Let’s not forget just how many moments and people you miss out on when you are stuck in situations that don’t serve you.

Over and out.